


Everything's Going To Be Good

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Breastfeeding, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4524003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picking up her daughter Valerie from her parents' apartment is always a brutal, prolonged ordeal for Sashi, one that tests her patience and her sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything's Going To Be Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radiowrittenheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/gifts).



> Dedicated to Mimzie. As the title says, "Everything's Going To Be Good." Life works out that way, and I trust a person like you can find a way to steer your life in the right direction.
> 
> Valerie belongs to the still unfinished story "Love, Selfish Love."
> 
> Title is from the song "Miss Understood" from Sammie.
> 
> Also, if you're weird about breast-feeding just... don't read this, please.

Time was running out, and the elevator wasn't getting any faster; Sashi contemplated breaking open the maintenance hatch, climbing the rest of the way up, then forcing the doors open, but she promised her parents and Penn she wouldn't do that again.

She flicked her eyes up at the floor numbers. Still softly dinging one at a time at a steady pace that was far, _far_ too slow for Sashi's liking. She tapped her foot on the floor, the thud of her boots getting louder and faster until she finally stomped it on the floor.

“Stop that.” Sashi growled at herself.

She crossed her arms. “Why didn't I take the stairs?” she mumbled, then she remembered Penn telling her: “Because the last time you took the stairs, you ended up breaking down almost every door in your way till you found Valerie. Not to mention the time you tried scaling the side of the building, and there was of course that incident with the paraglider, the lockpick, and the box of Flaming-O's.”

No one knew what Boone said in her defense, exactly, but she was happy she hadn't been jailed, sued, nor fined—about the last thing anyone needed was any of those or combinations thereof.

Sashi closed her eyes, and took a deep, calming breath, just like mother had told her. “Everything's going to be good.” She muttered to herself.

She was going to make it till the end of this elevator ride without breaking in or out of anything, without scaling the shaft with her bare hands, and without a single bead of sweat on her brow, from physical exertion or worry.

She was going to step out of this car once the doors were meant to open, then head over to her parent's apartment—her childhood home—open the door, and then act completely, absolutely, perfectly _normal_.

Because that's what was going to be waiting for her: a perfectly normal scene, her mother home in her apartment, Valerie asleep in her arms, or in her crib, or quietly playing somewhere, reading a book, or just staring at and taking in the world around her like every baby did.

But what if it wasn't?

Sashi's heart started pounding in her chest. What if her mother went out on a sudden errand, or off to the bathroom, and she forgot to put Valerie in her crib, or put up  the baby  fences? What if Valerie only  _looked_ like she was sleeping, and her mother didn't suspect anything until they tried to pick her up and realized she wasn't breathing? What if she stepped out of these elevator doors and the first thing she saw was the door to the apartment swung wide open, Valerie and her mother clearly long-gone?

Her eyes flicked over to the maintenance shaft panel above. They wouldn't mind if she did it again, right? What if this was an emergency and climbing up the elevator shaft again was the way she could get within those precious few seconds to--

Ding.

Sashi looked back down at the elevator doors. They calmly, slowly slid open, revealing a hall full of apartment doors before her, all of them closed, and looking completely, absolutely _normal._ Sashi quickly moved past the one or two people about to step into the elevator and strode to the familiar door with that familiar number, her boots making a loud, rapid thump-thump on the floor.

The door was closed,  the place was quiet .  T here was absolutely nothing bad going on inside— b ut what if that was because there was  _no one inside?_

Sashi instinctively braced her shoulder and took a step back. She forced herself to stop before she took another step further. She gritted her teeth, raised her arm, and knocked on the door. It sounded like a frantic, panicked pounding—like a horror movie victim about to get cornered by the monster and eaten unless the others opened and shut the door in time—but Sashi tried not to mind.

She relaxed—kind of. She wasn't in the “Door Ramming”  position  anymore, that was something, right? A bead of cold sweat ran down her forehead, and she wiped it away, fixed a few loose strands of hair on her head.

Sashi stared at the door. Still closed. “ Everything's going to be good, everything's going to be  _good,_ _everything's going to be good...”_

The seconds passed by even slower than the elevator.  Sashi tried to remember where the spare key was hidden—but breaking the door open would be faster, so--

The door opened. Mrs. Kobayashi took one look at her daughter, and smiled knowingly. “Hi sweetie.” She said calmly.

Sashi blinked, flinched, and awkwardly took herself out of the beginnings of the “Door Ramming” position. “Hi mommy.” She said quickly, before planting a quick kiss on her mother's cheek, then slipping in past her.

Sashi stopped a few feet inside the apartment, eyes rapidly scanning the place. No signs of a struggle, no signs of any sort of disaster, the only messes around were the ones that had been there when she left Valerie this morning, or ones that just happened when you had a baby around.

“Valerie's in your old room.” Sashi's mother calmly said as she stood behind her.

“Thanks.” Sashi said. Without looking back, she walked as quickly as she could without showing that she was panicking and that her heart was racing at who-knows-how-many-miles per hour. She made it to her old room, grabbed the knob, and carefully, slowly pushed it open.

Though most of the posters, decorations, and belongings had been taken down, packed away, or moved elsewhere, Sashi's bedroom remained mostly the same as it was before she moved out. Same dresser, same bed, same window on the side, though all obviously without curtains, sheets, or fresh pillows because she wasn't living here anymore. About the only things different were the few boxes stacked in the corner, and the crib set up in a nice, cool, shaded spot by the window, the very same one Sashi had wasted most of her morning agonizing over and trying to find.

There Valerie still slept, safely nestled in her crib, on her back and still inside the little cushion that'd keep her from rolling over on her front or side.

Sashi's footsteps were slow, careful, her boots barely making a sound on the floor. It was as if she were stepping into a lion's den, sleeping predators on every side; one misstep, one too loud sound, and it'd be the end of her. She slowed down even more as she neared the edge of Valerie's crib, till she stood beside it, fingers clutching the rail tightly.

She looked down at Valerie down below. A tiny— too tiny—baby bundled up in flamingo pink,  with an almost bald head except for the wisps of brown and copper red hair, already curling up and straying every which way.

Sashi held her breath, and listened. Though she could barely hear it, Valerie was breathing. Very soft, but it was steady and regular, as it should be. Sashi quietly let out the breath she was holding in a long, low sigh of relief.

She almost jumped out of her skin when her mother stepped up beside her, completely unheard and unseen till then. “She was like this the whole time, just sleeping like a peaceful little angel.” Her mother said quietly.

Sashi nodded. Right. Babies slept for most of the day, that's what they did, aside from puking, pooping, and crying because they were cold, hungry, or lonely. No reason to worry--unless it _was_ reason to worry. What if Valerie just slept this entire day, never really waking up? She knew her daughter wasn't the most energetic baby in the whole world, to say the least, but she still had moments where she was unmistakably, completely awake, and ready to learn, play, and just be a _normal,_ average baby.

“Aww, look, she's waking up!” Her mother cooed.

Sashi turned her attention back to Valerie. The baby was stirring, softly pawing at the sheet she was wrapped in, before  her eyes gently fluttered open. Sashi couldn't resist smiling—those bright blue eyes of hers were  _massive,_ way too big for her head and  looked  completely, absolutely _ridiculous,_ and she could _never_ get enough of it.

Valerie looked at Sashi, then at her grandmother, then back at Sashi. Then, she closed those eyes of hers and started crying. It wasn't the sharp, ear-drum piercing wail babies were so infamous for, but Sashi could hear that soft, blubbering whine through  _anything._

“I think she's hungry.” Her mother said.

Sashi nodded; Valerie was always hungry when Sashi woke up, sometime after her afternoon job, before her evening job,then late at night sometime after one AM, one of the ways that the universe had lined up that she would be forever grateful for. She reached down and carefully picked up Valerie, one hand enough to carry her, but another one to cradle and hold her head just in case. Sashi held her crying daughter to her chest, quietly shushing her and whispering sweet nothings as she made her way back to her old bed.

Sashi sat down on the side of the bare mattress, Valerie in her arm and on her lap, her free hand working to unbutton her work blouse. She held Valerie up to her nipple, gently coaxing her, waiting for her to latch on. “Come on, Val, come on; it's time to eat...” Sashi whispered.

Valerie put her lips around Sashi's breast, Sashi winced and let out a little pained yelp. Her mother and the  _vastly_ improved and revised maternity guides  these days  had warned her that “Teething Baby + Sensitive Nipple = Lots of Pain,” but nothing could ever really prepare her for when it actually happened. 

Sashi bit her lip and held Valerie steady as she fed. She looked up at her mother, smiling proudly at the both of them, before she quietly stepped out and shut the door behind her. Alone in the peace and quiet of her old room, Sashi looked down at Valerie, hungrily drinking up like every baby did.

Sashi smiled. “Everything's going to be good.” She said.


End file.
